Your Superman
by wontgrowsup32
Summary: Post Eclipse one shot from EPOV. Edward's thoughts and insecurities as he watches Bella sleep. Before the wedding. i own nothing so dont sue me.


In some ways, night had become my favorite time of the day

**A/n: I was extremely bored and this one shot was just begging me to be written. It was practically stalking me. This was just a small break from my real story, My Darkest Night. Enjoy.**

Your Superman

_EPOV_

In some ways, night had become my favorite time of the day.

For the longest time, I had resented the darkness; it reminded me too much of myself for my liking. It symbolized all the things I had grown to hate: the way it obscures beauty and hides the truth, and the way it always seems to just go on forever, never an escape from the blackness.

Mostly, though, it was just the pure monotony of it all. Darkness was so utterly predictable in its nothingness. There was never anything new to look at or find in its depths. Just black. Just loneliness.

The most pitiful part of the whole scheme had always been that I would never get a reprieve, a break from it. I would always, _always_, be stuck in the dark. Banished from the light of the sun, banished from time and humanity, and death. I was damned to walk the earth, alone.

But, I had found something in that darkness after all. My Bella.

As I was abruptly brought back to the time and place before me, I focused on her face. It was slightly ironic – Bella was so pale, so full of life, her skin seemed to glow, her features luminous next to the rich brunette of her hair. Even with the loom of clouds outside her window, obscuring the moon and stars. She truly was a brilliant meteor, my guiding light.

She stirred slightly and I watched in pure awe. Just as she adjusted, there was a break in the overcast sky, a small beam of moonlight flooding through her window pane, landing directly upon her peaceful features.

A small portion of her hair escaped from behind of her ear from her gentle movement, flowing over her face like water and shimmering like fine jewels. A seemingly simple flick of her tresses became a great landmark of wonders of humanity, outshining even a phenomena like Niagara Falls at sunset. I made a mental note to show that to her someday.

"Edward," she breathed.

The combination of her voice and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat as it reverberated inside of my ears, _ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum,_ was so much more beautiful and soothing than any piece of music a well practiced genius of their time could have dreamed of conjuring. I had attempted to recreate it the best I could in her lullaby, but the two simply could not compare. It seemed blasphemy, almost, trying to copy something so indescribably perfect, the song of an angel as she dreams.

With great restraint, I pushed the lock of hair back into place with two fingers, just skimming the skin of cheekbone, drawing a path all the way to the sensitive skin just behind her ear.

If it was solely up to me, I would always be in physical contact with Bella. There was simply nothing out there more delightful. I chuckled noiselessly to myself, careful not to disturb the picturesque form I sat beside. Before she entered my existence, I never even _thought_ words like 'delightful,' unless I was trying to be sarcastic.

I idly wondered what my former self, the self of my cold, bitter years before her, would say if he could see me now. Bella had made such a difference, had changed so much in me, it had become difficult to justify the two opposite minds as the same person. Alice "lovingly" referred to them as Thing 1 and Thing 2, but only when she was positive I was in hearing range.

It didn't occur to me until after she had shifted again, that my fingers had traveled down to her slim torso, still drawing small circles on her skin, luxuriating in the feel of blood flowing beneath taunt skin. It tickled my fingertips.

Warmth radiated from her skin, slowly being absorbed into my own until my entire being was filled to the very core with absolute, excruciating contentment. My eyes cautiously raked her exposed belly. There wasn't a single blemish or imperfection to be found; she was softer than any silk. I desperately clung to the quickly retreating gentleman inside of me - it was harder and harder to dredge him up lately. I couldn't seem to locate my former conviction.

It took everything I had not to press my entire hand into the graceful arch of her waist and bury my face in the comforting sanctuary of her shoulder. So much temptation, it was rapidly bordering torture.

And I adored every second.

The knot in the pit of my stomach seemed to be winding itself tighter every single day now, practically begging to be sprung from its coiled prison.

"Edward," she whispered again. I was no longer surprised by the thrill that coursed through me every time she said my name.

I disentangled my legs so I could lie next to her, our faces perfectly level to one another. This was the real reason I sat here, waiting and watching.

Bella had admitted to me long ago that she could never get a good nights rest with out me there, so I gladly stayed. But even if that wasn't case, I would still be here, in this same spot. While being able to look at her undisturbed was definitely tempting, I stayed so I could read her mind in the only way I was capable of doing so. Sleep talk was a gift from the gods.

"Yes, love," I whispered in return.

"Edward, save me … No, Alice … I will not walk down the aisle with stupid swooping doves … I don't care what it looked like in Cinderella …That's where I draw the line, little missy," she rambled in a soft hush.

I tried to choke back the laughter before I responded.

"Don't worry," I murmured, pulling her into my chest, "She won't make you do anything you don't want to, sweetheart. I won't let her."

She gently tucked her head in the curve of stone where my neck met my shoulder, and delicately placed her small hand to rest on my chest. I trembled as her lips pressed into lightly to my collarbone, running shivers down my spine with her almost kiss.

"Thank you, Edward," she mumbled, words obscured with exhaustion, before I felt her completely relax onto my body; a sign I had come learn that she was too tired to even dream.

It was true, Alice had been keeping Bella and I long hours, forcefully helping us prepare for a wedding I could sense Bella slowly beginning to anticipate. She gave a small smile now, whenever someone mentioned it, a tremendous leap from her prior grimace.

I'd allowed a tiny amount of pride in myself to swell every time I saw that subdued gleam in her eyes when she heard the words _August 13_, knowing the reason for its birth was a direct result of her impending marriage to _me_.

She was happy that she was going to be _my_ wife; that she was gaining an eternity by _my_ side. Just as Bella was allowing herself to accept our marriage, I was grudgingly beginning to accept her change, too.

When I thought about the whole concept logically, there were many more ways for the actual act to go right rather than wrong. I knew that Carlisle and Alice would be by side, at least for a little while, restraining me and helping me if the need became too much. I had always known I would want someone holding my shoulders when … when I bit her, just a precaution, just in case.

But as I thought back to the other changes, the ones I had witnessed, it occurred to me that I couldn't touch her either; at least if I didn't want to make the fire even more unbearable. And that hurt. I knew that was going hurt; not only having to watch her in _so much_ pain and having no way to prevent it, but having no chance to comfort her either. Having no way to comfort myself. I may go mad.

Yet, I could live through this. It was only three days. Only three unbearable, overwhelming, agonizing days. I could do it for her, though; I _would_ do it for her, anything at all.

And there was no way in hell I was going to kill her. No chance. Ever. I honestly couldn't. It was like I had told Bella before the battle: my entire being shies away from a future without her and that included my disgusting thirst for her blood. The monster in my head was just going to have to get over it because I was not going to lose her.

These things, I would endure for Bella; I couldn't deny her anything. I _knew_ we could do it because we had to.

It was the after part that had started to terrify me.

Little things that I had grown to cherish would become indefinitely null and void. Just little things. She wouldn't need someone to help her sleep at night because there would be no sleep for her. She wouldn't need me to protect her from Alice's shopping addiction or sadistic vampires anymore. She wouldn't me to catch her when she fell.

For her first few months, she would need someone to teach her to hunt, to control her strength, her thirst, and her new power, too. Bella was far too beautiful, kind, and strong not to receive one. It was obvious that she was going to be … I can't think of the right word. Special? Spectacular? Everyone new she was going to _different_, especially the Volturi. She would also need to learn to avoid them; they would want her to join soon.

But where would that leave us after the danger passed? Would she still want me? Need me? I couldn't be sure. Bella had always been good at taking care of herself. Maybe she would realize one day that she had made a mistake, deciding to live my life. Maybe she would try to leave once she realized what a deplorable, undeserving creature I was compared to her. I know what I am; I guess it's only a matter of time before she does too. She deserves so much more …

I had been unconsciously clutching Bella tighter and tighter to my side, one arm holding her secure by the waist, the other cupping her radiant face. The rigid pressure she was held by must have woken her.

"Edward?" she whispered, slightly panicked.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked with concern as she noticed my breath coming in shallow gasps.

"Nothing," I said, not trusting myself yet with anything more than murmur.

"Edward," she said again, a reproachful and determined tone to her voice. She was learning to hide her fear very well.

I sighed deeply; there would be no avoiding this conversation and I couldn't bring myself to lie to her. I pulled her back more securely, safely into my arms and she gladly obliged. I pondered a few seconds, trying to find the right words, to end this quick.

"It's nothing, love, I was just thinking about how strong you are going to be," I whispered in her ear, hoping I had the right kind of edge to my voice. "And all the things you are going to be able to do without me."

"Without you?" she said, much too loud. The desperation she felt was evident and it only fueled the frantic, helpless need that spiraled even deeper in despair when she spoke. She sounded so scared.

"Shh shh," I chided, trying to "dazzle," as she so endearingly put it, her pain away. It hurt me worse than my own. "I meant that you won't _need_ me the same way you do now."

"I'll always need you," she said with clear conviction and utter sincerity. Oh, my sweet, naïve Bella, how I wish that were true. I really did want to believe her.

"That's what you say now, but-"

"No! Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, you listen to me!" she caught me by surprise with her interjection.

"I will _always_ need you. Always. And I will never out grow you or leave you or love you any less than I do right now. I love you, Edward, and nothing will ever change _that_," the force of her eyes was compelling, hypnotic, and I could only limply nod in agreement.

"Besides," she whispered in my ear, surprisingly offhand once we were settled again, me snuggling into her this time. I had never felt safer when she reached out to cradle my face in her gentle grasp. I leaned into her hands, pressing myself ever closer into her protective warmth, inhaling the scent that assured me I was home as she spoke once more before she drifted to sleep.

"What would I do without my Superman?"

**A/n: My other story was depressing me a little bit, so I wrote myself some fluff to balance it. Reviews make me smile a whole lot. :)**


End file.
